I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
