She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
