Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
