About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
