ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
false alarm. still invincible.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize