Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
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i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just googled if crying burns calories
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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