Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I checked into jail on foursquare
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
