I want to make a zoo with you.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
