Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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