So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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