if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize