I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
