naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
