i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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