Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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