what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
