beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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