i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
