Kiss
Puke
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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