Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
