I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
