my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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