dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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