He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
