dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize