I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize