Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
not ubering you a puppy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
