sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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