Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
