i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
