U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
