when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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