I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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