You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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