She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
