I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
