I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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