When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
