I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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