Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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