The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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