i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
