in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
