Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
