God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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