I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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