you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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