Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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