his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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