maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize