my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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