Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
