i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
