whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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