I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
