So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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