yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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