these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
