She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I touched a dick in church today
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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