Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your penis caused this!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
