After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
