You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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