mondays should just be called national damage control day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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