New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
