I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
