And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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