first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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